Writing on the Wall

There's a definite message being sent when the Lady decides to get a tattoo which is, essentially, a mantra against suicide.

The problem is that I'm not at all certain whether this is related our relationship, her separation anxiety with the SD, or something else. What I do know is that I'm not in an emotional space at the moment to even begin dealing with this or starting the conversation which would be necessary to question her motives in getting that sort of thing inked.

I am feeling more than a little foreboding.


Signal Boost: "Exiles", by Kofi Awooner

So, I got this in my email today, from my friend almost never emails me (not a large sin, we see each other frequently). I think he'd probably like this to get more visbility - so, posting here for you folks who appreciate poetry far more than I can ever wrap my hands around.


I remember why I fell in love with poetry. Kenyan Poet and Statesman Kofi Awooner died in the terror attack in Kenya yesterday. Here's one of his poems that I think is quite beautiful.


Moon, moon shine on our way

Shine bright for us to go home.

The return is tedious

And the exiled souls gather on the beach

Arguing and deciding their future

Should they return home

And face the fences the termites had eaten

And see the dunghill that has mounted on their birthplace?

But their journey homeward done on the sea-scape's roar

Their final strokes will land them on forgotten shores

They committed the impiety of self-deceit

Slashed, cut and wounded their souls

And left the mangled remainder in manacles

Before the sacred altar, alongside the sacrificial cock

Whose crow woke the night sleepers at dawn.

The moon, the moon is our father's spirit

At the Star's entrance the night revellers gather

To sell their chatter and inhuman sweat to the gateman

And shuffle their feet in agonies of birth

Lost souls, lost souls, lost souls that are still at the gate.

-Kofi Awoonor

(no subject)

"And as dreams of snow and ice flowed over me, I wondered how differently it might all have gone if taking out monsters did come with a how-to manual."
-Kathy Tierney, Blood Oranges

Oh Quinn. You just would have fucked up in different, yet equally disastrous and inventive ways.

night night
- 12th

This is Why I Really Don't Do Well with Philosophy

"Two men are each given a necktie by their respective wives as a Christmas present. Over drinks they start arguing over who has the cheaper necktie. They agree to have a wager over it. They will consult their wives and find out which necktie is more expensive. The terms of the bet are that the man with the more expensive necktie has to give it to the other as the prize.

"The first man reasons as follows: winning and losing are equally likely. If I lose, then I lose the value of my necktie. But if I win, then I win more than the value of my necktie. Therefore the wager is to my advantage. The second man can consider the wager in exactly the same way; thus, paradoxically, it seems both men have the advantage in the bet. This is obviously not possible."

Unfortunately, at least one of the men has been drinking long enough to have forgotten that he got the necktie from his mistress and not his wife, and thusly loses regardless of the outcome.

This is not to mention the fact that asking a spouse how much they spent on anything is as likely to get you an inflated number as a deflated number and you should really consider the risk of the source of your reference points.

"Let us say you are given two indistinguishable envelopes, each of which contains a positive sum of money. One envelope contains twice as much as the other. You may pick one envelope and keep whatever amount it contains. You pick one envelope at random but before you open it you are offered the possibility to take the other envelope instead."

Punch a motherfucker in the nuts, take both envelopes, and run.

It's good to think like a criminal, is all I'm saying.


EDIT: Changed that last line.


Tragedy Tomorrow, Comedy Tonight

Okay, it's a day late; but really, truth is timeless.


  Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
  In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect
  to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary.

(Emphasis mine)


Look at Me Not Being Political

Watch me completely ignore blogging on "Patriot Day". I'm sure there are other people saying what needs to be said better than I will

As for now, I wanted to jump in and say that I really, really am planning to continue stories. Work has been a monster and I've been coordinating with a few people on RP related to the (possible) winddown of CoX. Last night was (in all likelihood) the last RP with greygirlbeast. A good scene, but sad. It was slightly undermined by the appearance of a Chekov's Gun which it was necessary to bring up. And I typoed my character's final line. *sigh*  Anyway, it was a wonderful experience and I'm glad and grateful I had the opportunity to enjoy it.

I looked at the second part of the Lady B story this morning and was annoyed that I didn't really like the tone of it. I thought I was much closer to a good stopping point for that particular entry, but most of it looks like crap now. It feels pretty fake. I might feel differently when I'm not drugged out on antihistimines and panicking about oversleeping.

There may be a CoX rumination coming along soonish. Not sure.

Back to work!

Vague Updates, Unasked-for

Hey folks.

Some of ya'll might have seen what greygirlbeast posted about the cancellation/shuttering of my MMO of choice, City of Heroes/Villains (aka CoX). There's been a lot said in my personal sphere of contact about it, so I'm not certain that I'm going to write something here about it. There's work being done to salvage it, about four petitions on change.org, and a fair number of rumors going on about it. Right now I'm honestly trying to ignore the bustle that is going on and salvage what I can for entertainment and relaxation out of the game and my interactions. I might post something on it later, but not now.

What I meant to say is that I do plan on continuing a few of the stories on here, even if they are now fanfic for a soon-to-be defunct MMO. I worked on Monday on continuing the Lady B story, but work and general exhaustion (physical, emotional) have been cutting into my energy for getting any further. The online implosion also wrecked my plans to get that Coda out any faster than I did. So, yeah. Anyway, just wanted to put something out there.

Also, I really don't want to be at work.