The Mouth of the Dead: The Annex

Do you hear that? It is the SQUEE of Ultimate Awesomeness.

2008-05-08T13:50:57Z

My heart, it made that sound when I saw this:

I don't care that it's on Mel's birthday or that tickets will probably be prohibitively expensive. Must. Have. I will kick old ladies down the fucking stairs. Eye stabbing. Dogs and cats, living together. Mass Hysteria.

Hat tip: setsuled

-12th.

Some Crap to Distract me

2008-05-06T18:50:06Z

Here is a bit of that ol LJ quiz mess that goes around. Lifted offa robyn_ma.

TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
At work, NGC 3582; at home...something else.

Q. How many televisions do you have in your house?
Two. Only one is plugged in. Wait, three. Two plugged in, only one is actually watched, another remains in the box since I moved.

BIOLOGY
Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
There are so many ways I could take this, but I'll settle for, "Yes."

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Bag of ice. Not really heavy, but sort of ungainly.

Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
Probably.

BULL*OLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
It would cut through the bullshit pretty quick, I think.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I think I might just stick the Segundo in the middle and leave the rest.

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
Olive.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
Bugs, pills, ice, paste, stuff.

DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Send a money order, please.

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
I want the ER on the line when this happens. And a cashier's check ready.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000
I'd put a five year moratorium on it, sure.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
...depends on the pose and magazine. Probably though.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
EMT on call, Cashier's check ready. You know, I want the ER bill paid for and $1,000.00.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Without fear of punishment, or without punishment? There's a difference. Presuming it is not someone I happen to like, then sure. Hell, some people will do it for much less money.

DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
Lint, at present. Lint and my hand.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
No clue. I was having trouble looking at Jon Heder in the promo materials, much less for 90-120 minutes.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Hardwood.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
Most people stand in the shower. That's why it's a shower. Unless you're one of those people who need a sitting shower.

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
I have a pair of Berks, but that's it.

LASTOLOGY
Q: Last person who texted you?
Morgan. He said, verbosely, "K."

Q: Last person who called you?
Mel.

Q: Last person you hugged?
Mel.

FAVORITOLOGY (shouldn't Lastology go last?)
Q: Number?
4,289.

Q: Season?
Autumn.

Q: Color?
Cobalt.

CURRENTOLOGY
Q: Missing someone?
Probably. They're likely in the last place I look.

Q: Mood?
Overfed.

Q: Listening to?
My jaw, chewing gum.

Q: Watching?
The screen? ...

Q: Worrying about?
Whether someone will catch me doing this and work and get me into trouble.

Q: Wearing?
The monkey suit.

RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
My car?

Q: What can you not wait to do?
Fucking finish this stupid RP arc with Cryo. Damn, I need to make something happen on this soon.

Q: Do you smile often?
Ehh...no.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
Ehhh...

-12th.

Fire in a flippant sky.

2008-04-30T19:02:57Z

So. It's Walpurgis Night. I like to consider it Springoween.

Act accordingly.

-12th.

Postscript: Title totally stolen from watermelontail, simply because he left it drying on the line.

NASA IS FAIL

2008-04-25T22:01:43Z

I'm pissed off about this.

30%

Here's the given info:

Imagine you are returning to the base ship on the sunlit side of the moon after carrying out a 72-hour exploration trip. Your small spacecraft has crash-landed about 200 miles from the base ship. You need to reach the base ship, in addition to your spacesuit, you were able to salvage the items listed below. Using what you know about the moon, rate each item in the above list according to how important it would be in getting you back to the base ship.

This sort of appears to suggest that your small spacecraft is no longer a viable shelter and you will have to shuck it out in hard vacuum in your space suit. It also does not say where on the Light Side of the Moon you are, or where your base is (other than 200 miles away). So, I prioritized accordingly.

The test is broken, because it contradicts itself three or four times in the "NASA Answers". Either that or I'm not familiar enough with how Space Suits work, 'cause last time I checked, there was no "Food Airlock" on a suit. Oh, I don't even want to start. Click it if you want, but it defies all science and logic. I doubt these answers were taken from any NASA Source after we actually stepped on the moon.

-12th.

Postscript Update: Props to Mel, who pointed out that if you can make a moon-hopping spaceship, you should be able to make a radio or transmitter that is capable of communicating over more than 200.0 miles. Bastards.

Ms. Voorhee's Pre-K Class: Imma Callin' YOU AWWWT!

2008-04-25T13:17:45Z

Big ups to my old Roommate Morgan, who forwarded this to me:

25

I think I suffered for physique and limited martial arts training, but I've got not problems slinging a kid around like a damn bat.

...

YouTube just disappointed the hell of out me by not having any sort of quality video for Grinderman's "Get It On". I suppose I could have gone with Manson's "Lunchbox", but...meh.

Disappointed, now.

On the Topic of Ballads....

2008-04-15T16:12:28Z

...Which watermelontail and others have been discussing, here's this (because I can't write poetry to save my life):

"Romeo Is Bleeding", Tom Waits (1978)

Romeo is bleeding
But not so as you'd notice
He's over on 18th street, as usual
Lookin' so hard against the hood of his car
and puttin' out a cigarette in his hand
for all the pachucos at the pumps
at Romero's Paint and Body.

They're all seein' how far they can spit
Well, it was just another night
And now they're huddled in the
brake lights of a 58 Bel Air
and listenin' to how Romeo killed
The Sheriff with his knife

And they all jump when they hear the sirens
Romeo just laughs
"All the racket in the world ain't never gonna
save that coppers ass!
He'll never see another summertime
for gunnin' down my brother
Leavin' him like a dog
beneath a car, without his knife"

Romeo says, "Hey man, gimme a cigarette!"
and they all reach for their pack
Frankie lights it for him and pats him on the back
He throws bottle at a milk truck
And as it breaks he grabs his nuts
An' they all know they could be just like Romeo
If they only had the guts.

Romeo is bleeding - nobody can tell
An' he sings along with the radio
with a bullet in his chest.
An' he combs back his fenders
They all agree it's clear
That everything is cool, now that Romeo is here

Romeo is bleeding, and he winces now and then
An' he leans against the car doors
Feels the blood in his shoes
And someones crying at the fire points,
In the phone booth by the store
Romeo starts his engine,
Wipes the blood off the door.

And he brodys through the signal
With the radio full blast
Leavin' the boys there, hikin' up there chinos
Now they're all trying to stand like Romeo
With the moon cut like a sickle,
And they're talkin' now in Spanish about their hero.

Romeo is bleeding as he gives the man his ticket
He climbs to the balcony at the movies
He'll die without a wimper,
Like every heros dream
Like an angel with a bullet
And Cagney on the screen

Romeo is bleeding.
Hey man, Romeo is bleeding.

So, you know. Just to keep things in perspective.

From our Call to Slactivism Dept

2008-04-11T15:16:55Z

Please, jesus. Make the pain stop.

Movies so horrible that they might as well be screening them at Gitmo Bay while they are flogging people with a rubber hose. If Boll was walking across the street in front of my car (perfectly reasonable, I think he really believes he's untouchable), I don't think I'd actually hit the brakes.

Okay...I might. But I wouldn't be calling anyone when/if he got hit.

-12th.

Fresh from the Questionable Headlines:

2008-04-02T15:14:06Z

I consider myself a fairly well balanced person with a decent amount of perspective. However, I failed to see this coming.

Yes, Ladies and Gents, the kids who beat the crap out of you in school because they were maladjusted macho fuckwads are now having kids, likely to become maladjusted macho fuckwads.

My favorite parts:

"It looks violent until you realize this teaches discipline. One of the first rules they learn is that this is not for aggressive behavior outside (the ring)," said Larry Swinehart, a Joplin police officer and father of two boys and the lone girl in the garage group.

Mm-hmm. Right. I'm several decades down the line in my life, and I still remember that these kids never really paid attention to that maxim. Also, I don't trust cops. No commentary on the name. Also:

...The film "Never Back Down," described as "The Karate Kid" for the YouTube generation...

I actually described this movie as Fight Club meets You Got Served. Only on half of the IQ and twice the White Privilege. But let's also remember that the point of the Karate Kid was not that Ralph Macchio was not some sort of revenge-empowerment tale, but an underdog story about spiritual rather than testicular strength.

Meanwhile, from our Damn Kids Off My Lawn Dept:

...

Nah, I'm really not in the mood to consider 3rd grade murder cult conspiracies and armchair sociology. I think I've got more resentment on this an rationale observation. Better to just let it lie and allow better folks than I to draw some better conclusions than I can.

It's Funny Because It's Depressingly True!

2008-03-17T15:14:12Z

Found at Married to the Sea:

marriedtothesea.com

In other news: Anyone out there want to mentor me on how the hell to work Second Life? I sort of... *digs toe in turf* ...got, er...

Neverminditstooembarassing!*

-12th

* No, seriously, I have no idea what I'm doing and sort of need to be brought up to speed pronto.

International Crawl A Dungeon Memorial Weekend

2008-03-04T19:47:26Z

Stolen from watermelontail whole cloth, perhaps the best eulogy one could give about the matter:

So the DM in my gaming group had a dream that he had gotten on the wrong bus that dropped him off in heaven. Figuring, since he was there, he'd check up on some old friends who had rolled their last D20. He found them, eventually, in the heavenly version of his dear, departed mom's basement, clustered around a card table.

"Cool," he said, "I didn't know you guys still gamed up here."

"Yeah," said one of the celestial dorks, "Good news is, not a lot else we have to do, so we've had some really good games going on, and, hey, it's heaven, so the cheetos and mountain dew don't even make you fat."

"Wow, that's cool," he said, "I wish I could come visit and game with you guys again. I miss you."

"That brings us to the bad news," said the angel-gamer, "You're scheduled to run on Tuesday."

Requiescat in Pace.

I lost interest in D&D (and high-fantasy tabletop RPGs) some years back, although I stayed interested in gaming in general. Still, this is a sad bit of passing, someone who struck out and just about invented an entire discipline of imaginative, cooperative, community-based entertainment. He's going to be up there with a lot of the luminary trailblazers. I'm not going to hesitate to put him up there with the seminal jazz musicians, modern poets and authors; artists who took a little bricolage and accomplished something incomprehensible and alluring to their peers.

Frankly, I hope he's teaching Jack Kirby how to roll and Bill Buckley how to play nice with others. Dorothy Parker plays the Paladin who's having an illicit homosexual affair with the elven archer-mage helmed by Sylvia Plath. Katherine Hepburn doesn't want to play, but she makes a goddamned fine pot of coffee.

In memoriam, I am highly suggesting that all gamers (former, estranged, current, and future) take a little time this weekend to break out their d20s, load up on sodas and junk food, stumble through THAC0 (or the edition of your choice), and do a little Dungeon Crawlin' in tribute to the old DM.

Strange Inclinations - Update

2008-03-03T22:33:19Z

Update on this over at ohmbhg.

If this is where it is going, I'd be very interested to play it out.

-12th.

Funny, I saw myself as something of a Rabbit-Owl Man

2008-03-03T15:33:16Z

Huh. Surprise to me. I never would have credited myself with something this emo. Sure, Rabbit was usually histronic, but he was practical as well. Well, here's to melancholy and prescience of sorrow to come.

Damn. Speaking of emo.

- 12th.

Your Score: Eeyore

You scored 15 Ego, 16 Anxiety, and 11 Agency!

"Do you know what A means, little Piglet?"

"No, Eeyore, I don't."

"It means Learning, it means Education, it means all the things that you and Pooh haven't got. That's what A means."

"Oh," said Piglet again. "I mean, does it?" he explained quickly.

"I'm telling you. People come and go in this Forest, and they say, 'It's only Eeyore, so it doesn't count.' They walk to and fro saying 'Ha ha!' But do they know anything about A? They don't. It's just three sticks to them. But to the Educated--mark this, little Piglet--to the Educated, not meaning Poohs and Piglets, it's a great and glorious A.

You scored as Eeyore!

ABOUT EEYORE: Eeyore lives in his own thistley corner of the forest and wonders why people don't come to visit him more often. He is master of the Guilt Trip, and is always gently forgiving his visitors for neglecting him. Eeyore considers himself to be smarter than the other inhabitants of the Hundred Acre Wood, and is often exasperated by their habit of having adventures and general merriment.

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You are an anxious person, and you tend to expect the worst. Your friends find you somewhat cynical at times, because you have found that it is best to expect disappointment. You often feel unappreciated by the people you work with, but you rarely actually try and do anything to change that fact.

Your close friends admire you more than you think they do. They wish that you would learn to stop worrying so much and actually start trying to fix what is bothering you. If something is making you unhappy... change it!

Link: The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test written by wolfcaroling on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test
View My Profile(wolfcaroling)

Strange Inspirations and Dreams Made Flesh

2008-02-29T00:11:48Z

Well. I got into a little discussion over at ohmbhg, which is partially run by watermelontail and is basically my introduction into alternative style tabletop gaming and such. Anyway.

From his entry yesterday:

"Here is the scenario: You are a the protectors of a group of settlers who have come to a new place out on the plains, near the mountains to found a new village. This area is definitely still wildernessy, plains and grasses and possibly hostile people and creatures.

"The game is high-ish fantasy. Magic is common, but maybe not so very powerful. A lot of people use it, few people become very impressive with it. One of them might be you. There are abandoned keeps and towers all about in the landscape, many of them untouched for centuries, many of them possibly haunted or trapped or cursed."

Tír na nÓg - a Game of Frontier Hearth Fantasy

The characters are all part of a fictional frontier society, settlers who live in a settlement called (for lack of a better name) Tír na nÓg. Don't be confused, this isn't the literal otherworld of Celtic mythology, it's just a nice name (Land of the Ever-Young) for a young settlement or colony out in the wilderness.

In any case, the characters are all members of this community, filling what positions and uses as may be desired. The quirk comes in when the characters begin to realize that they are demonstrating abilities which are not, strictly speaking, human in origin. Perhaps a baker discovers his bread has strange abilities to cure illness, or a blacksmith finds that his tools break only when used for evil purposes, or a Parson discovers that she can see in perfect darkness, or the fisherman's widow discovers she can't drown. These signs and wonders are kept as secret or public as desired, although the consequences of such a decision are left to the players and the GM's imagination.

The overall idea is that the characters are becoming supernatural beings, or perhaps are possessed by spirits, or are forgotten spirits who remembering who they are. This clashes with the characters' known human identities - no amount of science will prove them to be anything but. Still, the characters might have glimpses of another reality out in the wilderness, away from human civilization, a kind of world they know is real but find impossible to quantify. Still, that reality (spiritual, physical, or emotional) is causing the characters to be something they weren't before - myths in flesh. The memory of a strange land expressing itself in its newly arrived occupants.

As noted above, there are manifest signs and ruins of a prior civilization, or at least prior colonization attempts. No substantive records are present of who these people were or what became of them. Certainly there are rumors aplenty, and maybe one or two theories from those further away from the frontier. But what has begun to be suspected is that the world is coming to life around the settlers in ways that has never been suspected before. These can draw the characters in to search for mysteries, but it's purely guesswork to know if that will matter. Perhaps they will find signs in this old society that reflect what is happening to them now - maybe they won't.

---

Of course, no such game would be complete without a little conflict & there's plenty to go around. Foremost is the frontier life & wilderness itself. It's a hard life, and requires a lot of hard work. Disease, famine, beasts, and even civil strife can kill a community in the cradle. The characters should feel immersed in this new settlement and should be part of it (even as the occasional outcast), even as their strange abilities and capacities might (or might not) alienate them from their peers. War, political or religious strife, or simple commercial disasters are all conflicts that might arise.

Then, on the spooky side, are the rumors of wild ones - other humans who have gone rogue. Bandits, criminals, madmen, and the like. And the faint rumors of those who have gone especially mad - believing themselves to be newfound gods and creatures of the wilderness. Yes, the darker versions of the character's fey selves (fey in the descriptive, not necessarily literal sense), who might have "gone native" or learned more about their changes than the characters. Who knows what they might teach or how they might react?

----

Mechanically, I'd like to see this work with something along the lines of one of watermelontail's various low-dice systems (which I still struggle to understand). Pick some traits, a few aptitudes, a few motivations, and assign a X Factor to represent the character's Fey talents. For me, that X-Factor is "Wild Memory" or something like it. As the character explores their non-human side, they might learn more about the world before humans arrived, or more about what they "really" are, and become more able to tap into those other abilities.

Of course, that really ought to be opposed by something like "humanity" or "community" or something like that - a side away from what makes them human and toward the alien Otherness around outside the campfires. Maybe it's something to be embraced, but also something that might come with a pretty heavy cost. I dunno.

---

Looking at this now, I can definitely see the shadows of the WoD Changeling game, although slightly different in tone. There's less uniformity and a lot more organic openness on how you want to build your character with respect to cutting myths out of whole cloth. I think unlike what watermeltontail mentions in the blurb above, I wouldn't take it High-Fantasy where magic was common in the slightest. I'd definitely try to play up the weirdness of having these talents, separating one from what is expected or accepted as real. But, on the other hand, I don't want to set up a setting where revealing these talents to the public is automatically disastrous. Maybe you become town heroes, or resources to fend off the wilderness which is still even more strange than you are. Maybe you're run out of town, or lynched, or maybe you set yourselves up as wizards or witches, or demigods, or whatever. Who knows? I'd like to keep that a little ambiguous.

Meh. I think that's all I got for now. Browse a bit on ohmbhg, maybe it's developing there too.

-12th.

Enshrined in the Miserable Annals of the Earth!

2008-02-28T00:19:23Z

Well, since I know no one else is going to weigh in, since this is the vast majority of my F-list, here you go:

1. "Look, Simon, I made love to your mother about half an hour ago, and now I'm beginning to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea."

[Henry Fool; The clue references Parker Posey, although she's not the one who spoke the line.]

7. "All's I can tell you is I could take on England, but I couldn't take on one heroin addict."

[The Filth and the Fury. Documentary about the Sex Pistols. This is John Lydon speaking of Sid Vicious, of course. Heartbreaking moment in the film, actually.]

8. "See now, this is why mad scientists are generally less desirable than your common or garden variety scientist."

[Mystery Men. Janeane Garofalo says this line shortly after they've dismissed Tom Wait's "Dr. Heller" as a crank.]

9. "Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life!"

[The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the Eighth Dimension. How the hell did no one guess this?! It's one of the signature lines!]

10. "The word 'impossible', Mr. Booth, is only found in the dictionary of fools."

[The Black Hole. I'm fond of attempting to whistle the theme to this movie. I would have gone with "More Light..." as the quote (being Dr. Reinhardt's last words), but I knew no one was going to get it.]

12. "Ya know, my daddy used to say every man's got a devil. And you can't rest 'til you find him... but if it's any consolation to you, you have put a smile on my face."

[The Crow. Can someone throw Michael Winscott a goddamned role? Please?]

15. "I don't think you're an asshole, Royal. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch."

[The Royal Tenebaums. Leaving the name in would have been a dead giveaway. This is Danny Glover's line to Gene Hackman. I had a hard time with this one since most of the quotes on IMDb and in the film are one-two punches, and I didn't want to copy in whole dialogue.]

Gratz to the winners!

-12th.

Quoteriffic, Or something.

2008-02-26T17:57:11Z

Okay, stolen from watermelontail, having taken up the majority of my morning. Some of these are obvious, being as my "favorite" movies aren't always the most erudite or high-quality ones. At least I left Aliens off the list. In any case, some of these are not my favorite quotes, and some are from popular movies where I really tried to obscure the film. Blah blah blah.

1. Pick 15 or 20 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. No googling or using IMDb search functions.

1. Look, Simon, I made love to your mother about half an hour ago, and now I'm beginning to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

2. I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone. [Ghostbusters; robyn_ma]

3. You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life. [Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back; robyn_ma]

4. They say there's enough religion in the world to make men hate each other, but not enough to make them love. [Angel Heart; d0minique]

5. Well, that's the last we should be hearing from Lucy, man. She's probably stuffing herself down the incinerator about now. You know what we need? We need some opium. [Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas; setsuled]

6. Oh, as the waters of Ennis, sir. Let us drink, then, to the Irish. No finer race of men have ever... peeled a potato. [The Proposition; setsuled]

7. All's I can tell you is I could take on England, but I couldn't take on one heroin addict.

8. See now, this is why mad scientists are generally less desirable than your common or garden variety scientist.

9. Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life!

10. The word "impossible," Mr. Booth, is only found in the dictionary of fools.

11. Ah yes, the sea is always good. There is nothing I can look at for very long, except the sea. [The Last Unicorn; watermelontail]

12. Ya know, my daddy used to say every man's got a devil. And you can't rest 'til you find him... but if it's any consolation to you, you have put a smile on my face.

13. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. [Fight Club; d0minique]

14. I've often thought that there should be beauty contests for the insides of bodies. [Dead Ringers; robyn_ma]

15. I don't think you're an asshole, [Edited for Spoiler]. I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.

And, special bonus obscure ass movie:

16. You pay too much attention to your granny. She knows a lot but she doesn't know everything. And if there's a beast in men, it meets its match in women too. [The Company of Wolves; setsuled]

-12th

Postscript:

1. Lead Female in this movie went on to such luminary heights as Blade: Trinity and Josie & the Pussycats

~~5. Is this the first film to chronicle the misdeeds of an ESPN.com commentator?~~

7. PIL. That's all you get.

8. Frankly, Hank Azaria makes any movie better. No, he's not the one who says this.

9. Most people don't realize that this movie and The Highlander share an actor. His character dies in both of films, however.

10. Anthony Perkins and Roddy McDowell were in a movie together? Yup, Sort of. Or so I heard.

12. Same actor, different movie: "But why a spoon, brother? Why not an axe?"

15. "I can has cheezburger?" No. Not fries either.

~~16. Frankly, I really only expect someone like greygirlbeast to get this one. Mostly because she's one of the few who works in the same genre.~~

Nothing Better to Do...

2008-02-21T19:23:40Z

So, I entered ICHC's Poker Lolcat contest.

Entry available here: http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/Poker-Cats.aspx?
nohasbluffzr128480951264843750.jpg (Since I can't actually get the Link to work)

I can has wins? U votez. Mebbe I takes u wits meh.

Randomness, I'm Hungry

2008-02-21T17:12:39Z

Stoles from setsuled:

Do not go into the twelfth. Stop where you are. Turn away from it. Don't even look at it.

Which movie was this quote from?

I liked the one I got from The Village better, but something blipped and I lost it before I could grab the code.

Ah well.

-12th.

Those who refuse to Laugh at the Lessons of History...

2008-02-11T17:41:58Z

Completely stolen from sovay.

But still completely awesome.

Twenty History Comics

-12th

Bulletin from Our "Open Yr Hearts, Open yr Wallets" Dept

2008-02-07T22:52:06Z

Stolen from sovay (hattip watermelontail), who (unsurprisingly) expresses things better than I can. Links changed up a bit, also:

As some of you will have already read, Caitlín R. Kiernan has been diagnosed with PNES (psychogenic non-epileptic seizures)¹. She is a professional freelance writer. The impact on her ability to work has been considerable, and therefore the impact on her continued stability and finances. She is an extraordinarily talented artist. So if you have ever enjoyed any of her work, please strongly consider a demonstration of your support. Subscribe to Sirenia Digest². Check out the eBay auctions. Purchase the new editions of her novels. Donate³. I am not in the habit of pointing toward posts of this nature, but there are things worth holding on to, and the worlds and words of the construct sometimes known as Caitlín R. Kiernan are high among them.

Other shit you can do:

A. Ms. Kiernan's girlfriend, the inimitable humglum, maintains a Etsy Site for her one-of-a-kind dollworks projects. The site is presently empty (Spooky's hands only go so fast), but you can watch the site for any additional postings. In fact, you can watch her doll-making LJ, squid_soup, and watch the little things develop. Purchases and donations to her will certainly contribute to assisting the other.

B. Other, limited edition and re-printings of rare publications can be obtained from Subterrean Press, including the corrected, improved, cybernetically enhanced⁴ edition of her fucking-hard-to-fucking-find first short story collection, Tales of Pain and Wonder.

C. Stiff Kitten T-Shirts: Bitch, you know you want one. Or twelve. Best thing since Hello Kitty 40K. ZOMG: Hack the Corporate Shill! Ziraxia has DOUBLED the commission Ms. K receives for purchases of this shirt, due to notice of her condition. HOW CAN YOU BEAT THAT SHIT?⁵ FTW!

D. Cross-post and link in your own LJ.

E. If you can't do it now, this shit isn't going away soon. Keep these links in mind, and even if not for you, maybe you know someone who needs these things in the future.

-12th.

¹: Regardless of what you think of the etiology of this condition, it is not for fucking around with. Rin's best friend was diagnosed with this after more than a decade's worth of being told she had regular epilepsy. The breaking point was when she suffered a seizure and literally blinded herself in the left eye when she smashed her face into a nearby mantletop. Wore an eyepatch to her wedding. Ms. Kiernan has just destroyed a few of her teeth as a result, which is a mixed blessing seeing as she is already blind in one eye.

²: Ten bucks a month folks. Your mainstream subscription to online porn costs more than that, likely. I've made my opinion on the bargain this is previously, though.

³: Unforunately, these do have to be NEW copies. It's a little more out of your pocket, but it will keep pockets on the author whose books you will very likely enjoy.

⁴: Subject to availibility.

⁵: Bitch, plz. You can't.

From The Headlines...

2008-01-30T16:22:25Z

We're doing things a little bit watermelontail style today.

"'It bordered on science fiction to think that someone as liberal on as many issues as Rudy Giuliani could become the Republican nominee,' said Nelson Warfield, a Republican consultant who has long studied the former mayor’s career. 'Rudy didn’t even care enough about conservatives to lie to us...'"

Don't get me wrong, I'm not shedding any tears that the prospect of Giuliani Time going national is dwindling. But I'm damned surprised to see in a mainstream news outlet that they would explicitly quote someone as basically saying, "Republicans want their candidates to be lying sacks of shit who pander to our wingnut demands, regardless of what their actual ethical or moral beliefs and policy initiatives actually are."

Didn't care enough to lie to us.

Makes about as much sense as "If my girlfriend really cared about our sex life, she'd cheat on me and get some practice."

In other news: How long before stoners in CA start doing bulldozer smash & grabs on these things? Recipe for disaster, I think. Well, maybe not disaster. But certainly more stoned folks on rented forklifts.

Bursting forth from our "No Shit, Sherlock" Dept.

2008-01-17T15:58:11Z

My sister can rest easier, she is not alone:

"We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable."

Meanwhile, NSSD is now a tag.

Happy Holidays from our "No Shit, Sherlock" Dept.

2007-12-26T19:22:28Z

As if there was some kind of doubt. To be honest, a few were educated guesses, but still...

	I received 100 credits on The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you?
Take the Sci-Fi Movie Quiz canon s5 is

-12th.

Thank You, Plateau State!

2007-12-10T17:44:23Z

Stolen from setsuled

Instructions:
1. Go to the Wikipedia home page and click random article. That is your band's name.
2. Click random article again; that is your album name.
3. Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.

MY BAND'S NAME IS
Theological College of Northern Nigeria
(The Theological College of Northern Nigeria [TCNN] is a private, Christian college in Bukuru, Plateau State, Nigeria.)

Symphonic Noise derived from gnostic chants and african tribal beats.

MY ALBUM NAME IS
Kaser, New York (Kaser is a tiny village located near Monsey with a population consisting almost entirely of Hasidic Jews of the Viznitz sect.)
Named for the village where the album was recorded. Sound and traditional musical influences should be obvious.

THE TRACKS ON MY ALBUM ARE

01. Julie Payne. An introduction and manifesto read by our landlady. Factual accuracy is disputed.

02. Zon Guitars. A noodly little piece, sort of Mono meets Masada in Mozambique.

03. USS Araner (IX-226). Narrative from Ensign Bishop L., overlayed with sound textures and melody.

04. Federico Brunori Guest vocals by Lisa Gerrard.

05. Caledonians. Fucking Metal.

06. Jamod

07. Uryshon's Lemma. A bit too math rock for me, but the critics loved it. Extended version on a separate EP.

08. Mirza Pandit Dhar

09.The Stains (Los Angeles). We did it for love, and they hated us for it.

10. Yuri (Command & Conquer). What does it mean when our entertainment posits us in the place of mad tyrants and sociopathic psychics - fumbling across the landscape in search of "resources" and the slaughter of all possible adversaries?

11. Hatfield, Harare.

12. Will Power (album). This was a good idea to someone. I know it wasn't me.

13. Rotherham R.U.F.C.. Sound collage of sports commentary and on-field action. Backup with blastbeats and reportage from the War on Terror.

14. Louisa Stevenson. No animals were harmed in the production of this track. None.

15. Conon Bridge. Audio track of commentary between two physicians in a bar. TCNN plays in background.

TCNN goes well with My Bride Babylon (circa Living Structures & To Live & Die in Oblivion), The Dire (Marshall Crane on track 15 as physician #2), DJ Shadow, & FM Einheit.

-12th.

stsisyphus @ 2007-12-10T10:26:00

2007-12-10T16:28:10Z

Okay, among the many things that I've done since my last update, I went to go see The Golden Compass.

I've not read the books and only have passing hearsay about the events of the novels. But regardless, if it weren't for the energetic campaign by both sides of the religion issue (Fundies: "By Jove, they KILL GOD in that movie!" Pagans: "Bet'cher Ass! Also, we do that every year; but it's okay, he comes back in another incarnation every winter."), I don't think I would have necessarily caught it. There were, perhaps, two things which made the "religious" issue stand out. One: the use of the word "heresy", which is a pretty uniquely theological term. Of course, in the absence of any other authority construct, I also see the Magesterium as a governmental force - which means that their complaints or oppression could have forced the "revolutionary" under terms such as "disloyal" or "sedition" or, if we wanted to go with something more abstract, they could have used "superstitious". Whatever, the problem with suggesting that there was a "clear" agenda against organized religion is a certain lack of counter-argument from the forces of oppression. Sure, Kidman's character vaguely outlines something late in the film, but is confused and doesn't make too much sense - the best analogue I could puzzle together was some metaphor for original sin. Again, I'm not certain.

The second one being the scene where our ~~Gandalf~~ Armoured Bear crashes into the Magesterium office, and we get a sort of distant, soft focus look at the exterior, which appears decorated in Orthodox icons of saints. It's not terribly obvious, I don't think, but it's there.

Here's the problem with bringing this film to contemporary American audiences. Other than our being dumb, that is. Right now, for American culture or at least the counter-culture, is that the "enemy of free will and thought" is not necessarily the Church itself. The Church stopped being the secular and temporal power as (seemingly) suggested and/or represented in the film some hundred, maybe two-hundred years ago. This is not to say that the Church does not have temporal or secular influence, which it does. But, for American audiences, who have no real understanding of direct Catholic oppression (being as we sort of missed out on that whole reformation issue being a direct, in-your-face, priest-holes-in-our-houses part of our history) - the issue isn't that the Church as an institution and edifice of authority is undermining our free will and inquiry into the universe.

Actually, for contemporary American audiences, it is how religion and piety is influencing secular politics and culture to undermine free will, civil liberties, and inquiry into the universe. That's perhaps why I can't see the religion in the film. Because there's no figurehead, no legislative body, no "independent" government for the religious institution to subvert and inveigle in order to further it's aims. So, the message of Religious Authority undermines All comes off a little shallow. Perhaps more so because we do not see the throngs of those citizens who embrace what the Magesterium represents. We have snarling goons, goosestepping hussars, gloomy skull-and-bones patriarchs, and a hand-wringling Mrs. ~~Ann~~ Coultier with all the warmth of an iceberg (which I was sort of expecting her airship to run into). We're missing the sort of next-door neighbor element of this tale, where if the Magesterium was really so bad, why don't the masses rise up to destroy it directly? Why deal with gypsy nomads, air-witches, or kindly cowboy father-figures? Because somewhere, underneath all the pomposity, it must give some sort of comfort or stablity to civilization. But where? I wonder about that, and its absence makes this mystery play of liberation ring a little hollow.

Also, I'll have to go with setsuled on this bit from his own review of the film: "Jacobi is sadly hampered by what must have been the same direction John Hurt received in the V for Vendetta movie, and comes off as no more than a two dimensional Snidely Whiplash." The man played Claudius, for fucks sake, you think they could have squeezed a bit more of a performance from him. Sure, he's on-screen for like, three minutes, forty five seconds, but come on. I hope for a bit more out of him in any potential sequel.

Other than that, I found the editing and pacing to be a little off. Discussing the movie with Morgan, I think he deftly pointed out that the film could have been an hour longer. The film moves too briskly, hardly does one event happen before another pops up without for consideration of what has occurred. Unfortunately, it seemed like the movie was trying to hit all the landmarks and waypoints without allowing the uninformed viewer to consider the landscape on the way. Most of the time, this doesn't harm the tension of the movie, but it does make the narrative choppy in places. I never quite believed that the characters would shrug off their peril and the challenges they face so easily as they seem to do. Maybe that's the innocence and pluck of youth, I don't know. It just seemed like there should have been a bit more reflection as to what was occuring. Again, maybe with another hour, we could have seen this filled out. Of course, with studio and production concerns, yadda yadda yadda.

I don't know, the movie was fine and could be seen easily as a delightful little adventure flick. My critical brain might have been firing a bit too much during it to really let go. Not sure.

Of course, sitting in a theater with your ex hugging your shoulder might also have something to do with assuming a bit of a self-conscious critical mindset.

-12th.

Post-script: In case anyone has forgotten how I scored on TGC's daemon quiz.

Meanwhile, From our "No Shit, Sherlock" Dept

2007-11-26T22:09:47Z

Now, I only needed slight help with the mojito question and making sure that juniper berries were used in the liquor I believed them to be (they were). The first clue for "White Russian" is a dead f'n giveaway.

Stolen from grandmofhelsing, while he was in the pisser:

95%ALCOHOLIC

Mesa Dating

Duh. I bought $109.81 worth of liquor this weekend, not including the drinks I had at the bar.

-12th.